Regarding talking off/taking flight
1. Neither Frost or myself, can get through this next move alone
1a. This is a big step for both of us, in the next chapter in our lives.
2. We can either do it together, alone or by ourselves.
2b. It's best when we work together, as their is no team in I
3. We both have our own set of resources to call upon on when we need too.
3b. Clearly we both like being in the lead and supportive roles.
4. For both our sanity for the week ahead we need to be apart.
4b. But know that the other is near, and just a phone call away.
5. Technology has come along way since our parents and grandparents moved from house to house.
5b. With all the technology available to us in 2009, why not use it.
6. Frost seems to have a cast of characters in play.
6b. But to play nice he needs to send one over my way, as I just called red light.
7. Red light will be back on until Frost sends me a green light message,
7b. This green light message must not find it's way into my inbox until 9am on monday morning.
8. We are having a proper pre production meeting on Sunday the 25th of October at 6pm to go over the particulars of the week days ahead.
8b. You will get a message by 4pm today to find out where we are meeting.
8c. Should you not acknowlege this message by within twelves hours of this message being sent to you. I will null and void this transaction.
9. Should Frost meet me at my preferred meeting spot today at 6pm, to sign this contract he can then of course
9a. But we need to know
9b. We both my require your help at any time this week.
9c. If we don't call you to ask for help, please call us.
9d. Being on stand by is never a bad thing.
This was written at 12:59 am on the morning of October 25th, 2009. Later that day I was admitted to clark-the emergency ward of camh (centre of addiction and mental health) I was diagnosed with having had a manic episode. I was given enough meds at the time to knock me out and make me sleep for the first few days of my stay.
Unfortunately when I was able to get out of my drug induced haze, I wasn't allowed to leave maui-the mood and anxiety program-inpatient program. I had not played by their rules. I had bitten one of my nighttime pills in half and hide it in my bra. I was having heart palpitations and then passing out from the amount of drugs they had me on at night. I didn't know what was happening, so did the only thing i knew to do. This resulted in me missing the first halloween in our new house. I was over the fact that I had missed the move, but when the realization hit me that I was going to miss our first halloween at the new house I ranted and raged like a lunatic. No one who came to see me was good enough, everyone was against me and I needed to get out. Well that how I saw it anyways. I waited and waited for anyone to come get me that first weekend, but nobody came. And then when they did come finally after the weekend was over I ranted and raged at the entire lot who'd come to visit.
It wasn't until the monday morning of the start of the second week that i learned if i was to get out, i would have to ship up and play by the rules of maui. So i went to group sessions, I talked with other patients. I was the newbie on the floor, the first time patient, and I was going to find out everything i could to get myself out. Of course it helped a lot that I had been doing this since day one. I'd notice a new person on the floor and ask them who they were and wanted to see their badge. I even offered to take new photos if they didn't like their, that how much i was in a manic state that first week. Still trying to be the hero.
I was always the happy one, never the sad one. That is my role and I have played it well my entire life. I stayed at maui for 3 1/2 weeks. The last half week I was there, I did my own thing and stayed away from any new patient that came onto the ward. I had played my part, it was time to exit the stage. Don't get me wrong, this illness is far from over. I will be on meds for the next 12-18 months. My inner hope is that it will be less but only time will tell.
I have a new social worker and physiatrist now and will be going back 2-3 times a week to the outpatient early intervention centre unit. I decided last monday that I was ready to come home, to the house here on Mountalan. I could have gone into another program on site at camh, but decided that I have a huge support system here in the community in which I live that i didn't need to, nor want to, continue on with the inpatient program. I do know however that it's always there in the background should i need it.
I am a bit hesitant to post this entry as excessive writing is what got me into this pickle to begin with, but I have come to learn that I have always used the written word to get me through the rough times. It's been my mental escape since i was a teen. In my closet here in this new room, my own office/craft room from which i write, is a box full of journals from the time i entered high school until now. The only difference is that when I started this blog a few years back my writing stopped. It came back when Frost went away for 10 days to LA. The unfortunate part is that it was a flood of thoughts and insight into the world around me that came with it because i wasn't taking care of myself. I was depriving myself of sleep as I was helping out friends for the Creativ Festival. I was taking care of everyone else, except for the one person that mattered most-ME.
I acknowledge the fact that I don't ask for help most of the time. I am the sort of person who does what needs to be done no matter how long it takes or how much energy i give. I have done that since I was a child. What have i learned most these last four weeks, is that everyone needs help. I am just starting to learn how to ask for it. I am thankful for marrying Frost last year. This wednesday will be our 6th year anniversary of meeting on the set of a commercial. He has come so far so fast in his field. From a jaded production assistant to a very highly respected and sought after video playback/data management guy.
I am thankful for the support system we have surrounded ourselves with. Friends and family members know who they are but it's also those of you who read this blog that are supportive as well. I have no idea how many people read this blog, but it doesn't matter. Telling you what has happened, is what needs to be done. The real reason why I haven't posted in so long. You don't have to know all the sorted affairs and details but if you want to hear them I will gladly tell you over a pot of tea. I am just getting back into the swing of things here. My old physiatrist, asked Frost if I was back to normal, to my old self. Frost of course said yes, and that was what got me discharged, but the fact of the matter is, is that I will never go back to that normal. There is a new normal about. The entire four weeks changed me, and it changed me for the better. Would I wish these last four weeks on anybody. Nope, not for a moment, but if should happen again we know what signs to look out for now and I would be the first to ask you to take me back to camh.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 09, 2009
Baby Set
This is the baby set, I just finished for Baby Sophia, who was born at the beginning of September.
I finished the sweater back in July when we found out a baby was on it's way. The parents weren't divulging the sex of the child, so I waited until the baby was born before adding the buttons. I'd also purchased some navy mission falls wool to make a hat and booties to complete the set, but when the baby was born and it was a girl, I just couldn't do it. The navy looked too masculine. I decided that purple went well with the green and picked up some more yarn. The buttons are from The Purple Purl, as is all the yarn, and they're such cool buttons as the tree is actually a purple tree, the buttons have not been dyed at all.
The hat was finished in about 4 days. I increased the number of cables to twelve, since the original pattern size was for a newborn and I wanted the hat to last a bit longer as the baby is already a month old.
The booties took a bit longer. I started them before the hat, but put them aside as the seams were being finicky. In the end they worked, but I had to re-do them a few times each.
I finished the sweater back in July when we found out a baby was on it's way. The parents weren't divulging the sex of the child, so I waited until the baby was born before adding the buttons. I'd also purchased some navy mission falls wool to make a hat and booties to complete the set, but when the baby was born and it was a girl, I just couldn't do it. The navy looked too masculine. I decided that purple went well with the green and picked up some more yarn. The buttons are from The Purple Purl, as is all the yarn, and they're such cool buttons as the tree is actually a purple tree, the buttons have not been dyed at all.
The hat was finished in about 4 days. I increased the number of cables to twelve, since the original pattern size was for a newborn and I wanted the hat to last a bit longer as the baby is already a month old.
The booties took a bit longer. I started them before the hat, but put them aside as the seams were being finicky. In the end they worked, but I had to re-do them a few times each.
Monday, October 05, 2009
3 weeks + 2 days old
Here's some current photos of Little PollyJean.
We visited PollyJean last Thursday, along with her two remaining siblings (the two black and white puppies from an earlier post didn't make it past a couple weeks old) along with her mom and aunt (the proud mother of 5 week old puppies) and her grandmother at the breeders home.
Above, from left to right are PollyJean, her brother, and her sister. Her sister is going to a home in Calgary, and her brother has yet to be spoken for.
*Although I'd love to take credit for all these photos, the only one in this post that's actually mine is the last one. The first and third images were taken by my father-in-law. The second photo was taken by Frost.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My new toy
A very brief post, in the bit of downtime I've had since Friday afternoon.
On Sunday, I went with Frost, Ma Frost, and Pa Frost antiquing in the country. Our first stop was CJ's antiques on Hwy 24 between Brantford and Waterford. The store has three outbuilding and an unoccupied house full of refinished furniture that is all stripped and refurbished on site by the owners. I didn't know about the house the first time we were there, back in July. We spent at least an hour looking at all the interesting and locale pieces they have, and I had quite a lovely chat with Casey, the father of the owner who helps mind the shop. We might have a couple of pieces to go pick up, once we have moved into the new house, which dudes, is in 28 days, or four weeks from today!
Our next stop was at the two antique shops in Waterford, which are in one big building near the stream. The antique shop at the very front has very nice stuff however it's all priced by the owner and his prices are quite high. The second antique shop at the back half of the building is owned and operated by Dave and his family but it works more or less on consignment where they have vendors who set the price and they get a percentage of the sale. The name of the antique shop aptly called the Waterford Antique Market.
The first time we visited the Waterford Antique Market back in April, was the first time I layed eyes on this new toy. In July when we were there for a second time, as it's now become a key part of our visit to my relations in Branford to go antiquing in the country, it was still there. Again I hummed and hawed over weather to get it or not but left it behind. This time round, I decided that should it still be there, I'd take it, but try to barter with the vendor as it would not have moved in the last 6 months. To my surprise it was still there and I immediately clutched it in my paws and began walking around the store with it.
An older lady, I'd say somewhere around 75 or 80 years of age, actually came up to me and said she'd had one as a child, but hers was black and silver instead of all tan. As it has no instruction booklet with it, I asked her how to thread it. Which she gladly told me how to do, and then went on her way out the back door of the shop.
So here it is, a 1940's child's singer sewing machine. Complete with a clamp to hold it to a table. I don't own a sewing machine but it's in such great condition and working order, that I can totally use it to hem pants and such.
The pint glass in this second shot is just for scale. It really is quite tiny.
And the best part of all-Made in Canada!
Now the kicker to this story is that just before leaving Waterford, we all went back into the first half of the building where the expensive antique market is. Pa Frost found in a glass cabinet a black and silver child's sewing machine just like the one I got, but it came with it's original box and instruction manuel. Which I guess explains the $225.00 price tag. Mine was a mere $125.00 with a 25% discount which would have come to $93 dollars and some change but I got the vendor to sell it to me for $80.00. My grandmother might have passed away back in April but I am proud to have inherited her barter gene.
On Sunday, I went with Frost, Ma Frost, and Pa Frost antiquing in the country. Our first stop was CJ's antiques on Hwy 24 between Brantford and Waterford. The store has three outbuilding and an unoccupied house full of refinished furniture that is all stripped and refurbished on site by the owners. I didn't know about the house the first time we were there, back in July. We spent at least an hour looking at all the interesting and locale pieces they have, and I had quite a lovely chat with Casey, the father of the owner who helps mind the shop. We might have a couple of pieces to go pick up, once we have moved into the new house, which dudes, is in 28 days, or four weeks from today!
Our next stop was at the two antique shops in Waterford, which are in one big building near the stream. The antique shop at the very front has very nice stuff however it's all priced by the owner and his prices are quite high. The second antique shop at the back half of the building is owned and operated by Dave and his family but it works more or less on consignment where they have vendors who set the price and they get a percentage of the sale. The name of the antique shop aptly called the Waterford Antique Market.
The first time we visited the Waterford Antique Market back in April, was the first time I layed eyes on this new toy. In July when we were there for a second time, as it's now become a key part of our visit to my relations in Branford to go antiquing in the country, it was still there. Again I hummed and hawed over weather to get it or not but left it behind. This time round, I decided that should it still be there, I'd take it, but try to barter with the vendor as it would not have moved in the last 6 months. To my surprise it was still there and I immediately clutched it in my paws and began walking around the store with it.
An older lady, I'd say somewhere around 75 or 80 years of age, actually came up to me and said she'd had one as a child, but hers was black and silver instead of all tan. As it has no instruction booklet with it, I asked her how to thread it. Which she gladly told me how to do, and then went on her way out the back door of the shop.
So here it is, a 1940's child's singer sewing machine. Complete with a clamp to hold it to a table. I don't own a sewing machine but it's in such great condition and working order, that I can totally use it to hem pants and such.
The pint glass in this second shot is just for scale. It really is quite tiny.
And the best part of all-Made in Canada!
Now the kicker to this story is that just before leaving Waterford, we all went back into the first half of the building where the expensive antique market is. Pa Frost found in a glass cabinet a black and silver child's sewing machine just like the one I got, but it came with it's original box and instruction manuel. Which I guess explains the $225.00 price tag. Mine was a mere $125.00 with a 25% discount which would have come to $93 dollars and some change but I got the vendor to sell it to me for $80.00. My grandmother might have passed away back in April but I am proud to have inherited her barter gene.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Why Ravelry Is a Godsend
Okay so last night, I found a new feature to make me love ravelry even more.
Now I have a few wips at the moment that need to get done asap, before I die of boredom, they have been on the needles so long. The startitis flu takes me over every six weeks I have to admit. Nor does it help that the list I started to write out yesterday, of all the things I want to start and finish before Christmas, was blown out of the water last night when I realized I needed to haul ass today and cast on and finish the baby set for Frosts co-workers new baby girl. At least the sweater is done. All I have to do is whip up a hat and booties and find cute buttons, but I digress.
My new favourtie feature is in the advance pattern search area. Since lets face it, I love knitting from free patterns I find on ravelry. Be it independent, first time designers or from the plethora of free on-line knitting magazines available to us these days. Now don't get me wrong, there are also great single patterns out there that cost a few dollars here and there but I am more of a buy the book or the magazine if there are at least 5 or 3 patterns respectively that I will make somewhere down the road from it. (I've only ever purchased two pdf's pattern downloads so far since i starting knitting 5 years ago, as I don't want to fall down that black hole as well)
And that is where I get sucked in. Since I will go through books and magazines, find those patterns I will someday make, subsequently purchase said book or magazine and then come home and add it to my bookshelf. Half the time not even giving it a second glance. Until now. Last night I was trying to come up with what to make with the four skeins of manos silk blend yarn I recently purchased from my lys. While trolling through the advanced pattern search, I entered the weight of the yarn I wanted to use as DK and then for my second option under the "availability" tab, noticed in the drop down menu the "in library" option and clicked on "yes."
Which means, that the search engine looks at all the magazines, books, booklets, and those few pdf patterns that I have purchased and is stored in my on-line library, and tells me which patterns I can make from my already existing stash of patterns. It's absolutely genius. Now all I have to do is troll through those patterns that come up in the search, and co-ordinate them with yarn I already have in my stash. I will also write down in the "notes" area on each individual yarn page of my stash, what pattern I plan to use with that particular yarn. Not that it will stop me from buying knitting magazines and pattern books, but it should start to make me use some of the ones I currently have in my possession, as that is what they're for.
It makes having the amount of stash I already have listed on ravelry that much more bearable if I have some kind of idea what I'll be using it for. I may even start to add from that extra box of yarn that might be hidden under the bed into my stash page. In bits and drags of course as I don't want to give myself a heart attack.
How rocking awesome is that discovery, EH?
Now I have a few wips at the moment that need to get done asap, before I die of boredom, they have been on the needles so long. The startitis flu takes me over every six weeks I have to admit. Nor does it help that the list I started to write out yesterday, of all the things I want to start and finish before Christmas, was blown out of the water last night when I realized I needed to haul ass today and cast on and finish the baby set for Frosts co-workers new baby girl. At least the sweater is done. All I have to do is whip up a hat and booties and find cute buttons, but I digress.
My new favourtie feature is in the advance pattern search area. Since lets face it, I love knitting from free patterns I find on ravelry. Be it independent, first time designers or from the plethora of free on-line knitting magazines available to us these days. Now don't get me wrong, there are also great single patterns out there that cost a few dollars here and there but I am more of a buy the book or the magazine if there are at least 5 or 3 patterns respectively that I will make somewhere down the road from it. (I've only ever purchased two pdf's pattern downloads so far since i starting knitting 5 years ago, as I don't want to fall down that black hole as well)
And that is where I get sucked in. Since I will go through books and magazines, find those patterns I will someday make, subsequently purchase said book or magazine and then come home and add it to my bookshelf. Half the time not even giving it a second glance. Until now. Last night I was trying to come up with what to make with the four skeins of manos silk blend yarn I recently purchased from my lys. While trolling through the advanced pattern search, I entered the weight of the yarn I wanted to use as DK and then for my second option under the "availability" tab, noticed in the drop down menu the "in library" option and clicked on "yes."
Which means, that the search engine looks at all the magazines, books, booklets, and those few pdf patterns that I have purchased and is stored in my on-line library, and tells me which patterns I can make from my already existing stash of patterns. It's absolutely genius. Now all I have to do is troll through those patterns that come up in the search, and co-ordinate them with yarn I already have in my stash. I will also write down in the "notes" area on each individual yarn page of my stash, what pattern I plan to use with that particular yarn. Not that it will stop me from buying knitting magazines and pattern books, but it should start to make me use some of the ones I currently have in my possession, as that is what they're for.
It makes having the amount of stash I already have listed on ravelry that much more bearable if I have some kind of idea what I'll be using it for. I may even start to add from that extra box of yarn that might be hidden under the bed into my stash page. In bits and drags of course as I don't want to give myself a heart attack.
How rocking awesome is that discovery, EH?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
The real Polly Jean
So there was a bit of confusion with the litter of puppies last week. There were two liver and white female puppies that we could choose from. One had a kink in it's tail, the other did not. Frost wanted a dog with it's tail still attached not one without a tail.
We were led to believe, the one we originally wanted, which has a white mark on it's arse, (what I refer to as an upside down heart) was the one with the kink in its tail, which needed to be docked. Since somewhere down the road it could have problems with a kinked tail getting caught in whatever blah blah blah.
Then, this afternoon the breeder sent us recent photos of the puppies including this one.
Clearly this dog has an upside down heart on it's arse and it's tail still attached.
It's a bit difficult to see, but the photo below was taken the day before all but one of the puppies got their tails removed. Polly Jean is on the outer right hand side and you can see has a very straight tail. Her sister on the opposite side, on the outer left hand side, has a kink in her tail. As does the male liver dog in the middle which is a bit easier to see.
Long story short we get the puppy we wanted all along complete with it's brown button nose!
There eyes are still closed and should open up by the end of the weekend.
We were led to believe, the one we originally wanted, which has a white mark on it's arse, (what I refer to as an upside down heart) was the one with the kink in its tail, which needed to be docked. Since somewhere down the road it could have problems with a kinked tail getting caught in whatever blah blah blah.
Then, this afternoon the breeder sent us recent photos of the puppies including this one.
Clearly this dog has an upside down heart on it's arse and it's tail still attached.
It's a bit difficult to see, but the photo below was taken the day before all but one of the puppies got their tails removed. Polly Jean is on the outer right hand side and you can see has a very straight tail. Her sister on the opposite side, on the outer left hand side, has a kink in her tail. As does the male liver dog in the middle which is a bit easier to see.
Long story short we get the puppy we wanted all along complete with it's brown button nose!
There eyes are still closed and should open up by the end of the weekend.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
New Magazine
Have you seen the new knitting magazine that will be hitting the stands this fall?
It's call St-Denis Magazine and it's Premier Issue contains patters by Veronique Avery, Robin Melanson and Ysolda Teague just to name a few.
The cover shawl is amazing. I borrowed the image from the St-Denis blog. I can't wait to see this magazine at my lys. Wink Wink Hint Hint
It's call St-Denis Magazine and it's Premier Issue contains patters by Veronique Avery, Robin Melanson and Ysolda Teague just to name a few.
The cover shawl is amazing. I borrowed the image from the St-Denis blog. I can't wait to see this magazine at my lys. Wink Wink Hint Hint
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Geek Tastic
While at the Silver Snail last week with Frost, I spotted and scored this piece of beauty. It's my very own Captain Jack and Gwen Cooper mug. After watching the week long third season of Torchwood, Children of Earth, back in July, I just had to have it. Even though I was disappointed that Ianto Jones was killed off, and that the fifth and final episode of season three was not as fulfilling as the other four episodes.
They did have some Torchwood action figures in the shop but no Jack, Gwen or Ianto in stock so the mug will suffice for now, until we go back to the UK.
They did have some Torchwood action figures in the shop but no Jack, Gwen or Ianto in stock so the mug will suffice for now, until we go back to the UK.
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